As the Project Manager for the Scottish Community Link Worker Network, I hear regularly from Community Link Workers about the need for more services to address social isolation and loneliness; this is one of the main reasons that patients are referred to them by GPs. According to the National Institute on Aging the health risks of prolonged isolation are equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, a statistic that shocked me when I read it.
The act of befriending is one of the best ways we can support people who are feeling isolated. There are numerous reasons why someone might be struggling – as a result of a recent bereavement, anxiety, poor mobility, or not having close family or friends nearby. We can all benefit from some company and a chat. Never has there been a better time to raise awareness of the benefits of befriending than during Befriending Week!
I started befriending when I lived in London and I was keen to continue when I moved to Edinburgh several years ago. I found out about Cyrenians’ Golden Years project, which focuses on community connecting for the over 60’s in Edinburgh. I applied to be a befriender and had an initial meeting with one of the project officers. The meeting was to give him the opportunity to find out a bit more about me and for me to find out more about befriending and what would be expected from me. After doing some in-person training and getting my Disclosure and Barring Service (DBS) clearance check, I was quickly matched to be a befriender to an older gentleman.
This is when Ian came into my life. What can I tell you about Ian? Well firstly, he is extremely intelligent. He knows something about pretty much any topic you ask him about! He is very interested in food, particularly funghi. He used to be a chef and I have been the beneficiary (as has my husband) of many of his fantastic bakes. His steak pie is a triumph! He likes stamp collecting (you learn a lot about social history from stamps), he likes his art and classical music and going out for nice meals, or for a blether over a coffee.
Our befriending relationship has been going on for several years now. We usually meet up once a week, depending on what is going on in both our lives. We have met each other’s families and Ian recently celebrated his 70th birthday which was a fantastic opportunity for us all to get together to share this important milestone.
When thinking about writing this blog, I asked Ian why he had wanted a befriender.
‘I was quite lonely before. It is really good to have yourself and others to meet. It gives me something to look forward to.’
He strongly encourages anyone who is feeling lonely or isolated to apply for befriending support. ‘Try it out, it is worth it.’
I would totally agree with those words. As someone who has been a befriender for several years, it is a great way to make a difference to someone’s life – it is flexible and so rewarding. I really look forward to my meetups with Ian and I have learnt a lot from him over the years, although unfortunately my baking still has a long way to go to match his standards!
I am not going to waste an opportunity to reiterate that, due to demand, we need more befriending projects in our communities, not fewer. I watched Cyrenian’s Chief Executive, Ewan Aitken, talk so passionately about the Golden Years project at the recent Edinburgh IJB funding meeting. Golden Years is one of the local community projects whose funding is under threat. If funding is cut from it and similar projects it will leave many vulnerable older people across Edinburgh without the essential community services that support them to live their best lives. We cannot and must not allow that to happen.
Finally, if you are thinking you would like to do something to support people in your community, then I cannot recommend befriending highly enough. It is one of the best things I have ever done. Just knowing I am giving someone something to look forward to makes me feel alive.
Roisin Hurst is the Project Manager for VHS’ 